Thursday, February 12, 2009
Just a number
It's just a number, or at least it should be just a number. But if it's a number why is so much of my self image tied up in this number. I went jean shopping yesterday and while I did come a way with a fantastic pair of jeans that make me feel totally sexy I also came a way upset. Its just a number, a randomly assigned size that is suck in my pants but still it makes me feel crummy. Its not the number I want and even though my husband finds me totally sexy I just don't see myself as sexy because I know what that number is. Why do I let that number have so much power over me. I can look in the mirror and for the most part I think I look good, especially for having two kids, but then I see that number and I want to cry. I want to be able to get past what the number says and see myself the way my husband does but for some reason I can't. My confidence and self image is totally and completely consumed by the fact that I don't like the number thats suck in the back of my pants. Whats worse is I didn't want to change that number and make it bigger so I didn't buy a totally adorable pair of pants. Why am I so paralyzed by this freaking number.